My past. It fuels my art when it's not a crushing weight on my heart. Actually, it's mostly just patiently waiting to be wholly explored in my work. No. That's not true. Impatiently. The call is nagging, impatient and irritating, hence the weight on my core. I will say that the desire to quash lingering doubts regarding the worthiness of ME is probably what drives me most to be constantly creating and achieving. But I suppose I intentionally suppress the meaty stuff. Why? Because I still fear the crushing blow of failure. It's never easy. And seeming failure? That's the absolute worst because it's a lie and we take it for truth and we take it to heart. But, oh, to get it out and free my mind!
"All kids draw and write poetry and everything, and some of us last until we're about eighteen, but most drop off at about twelve when some guy comes up and says, 'You're no good.' That's all we get told all our lives. 'You haven't got the ability. You're a cobbler.' It happened to all of us, but if somebody had told me all my life, 'Yeah, you're a great artist,' I would have been a more secure person."
- John Lennon
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